Respect

Ok, so honesty first, this Gates issue, now on its fifth or sixth day is getting old. The result is as consistent as most frustrations sensed from the chosen topics of our modern media. Why do we focus on the dramatic of a few when there are so many truly dramatic topics our media could be educating a generally ignorant public on?

This brings me to the reason I sat down at my PC over the past three evenings. Respect. So many topics we are hearing about in the media would not be there if there were simply more presence of respect in our daily lives. Would Gates be in the media today if he had respect for the police officer who approached him and simply asked him what he was doing and to produce some identification? Let’s not forget, the cop was “called” there to look into a “suspected burglary”. No, if he had done what most people would have done when faced with the same situation what he would have done would have been to comply, tell the officer exactly who he was and that he lived at the residence. “Sir, here is my license, there must be some sort of a mix up, I live here, you are welcome to come into my home and I’ll show you several personal items that will confirm this is my home. Can I offer you something while you wait?” Oh, and by the way, since I’m such a respectful neighbor, why don’t you invite my neighbor who called over and we can figure this out right now, I’m sure we will all get a good laugh out of it.

Rather than be respectful, this jack ass decides to standoff with an officer of the law and start grandstanding! Where does this behavior come from, and how on earth can the president (that I voted for) defend, in any way, this guys behavior and claim the officer acted “stupidly”? After a statement like that, I’m guessing there are more than a few people in this country wondering who the “stupid” one is. On the flip side, I’m sure the officer got a bit short and possibly even belligerent with this guy, who has been accused of breaking and entering and hasn’t denied it. Can anyone put themselves in this situation as an officer and argue that they wouldn’t have? I’m actually quite amazed they didn’t take this guy to his face and break his arm getting him in cuffs. Putting myself in the shoes of an officer, I would have gotten pretty damn rough with a guy who was smarting off and not answering my questions. Respect was completely absent from Mr. Gates in this situation.

It may be that I’m getting old, but I’m starting to sound more and more like my parents, but what happened to good old fashioned respect?

Respect for your elders, your wife, neighbors, policemen and women, firefighters, your boss, your siblings, parents, teachers, and friends. What about respect for the flag, military personnel, veterans, pets, other people’s property and belongings. What happened to respecting one’s self enough to not break the law? What about just respecting the law? How about kids who respect their toys, having nice cloths, and being able to attend school? There are children who consider it an honor to have the privilege to attend school and be educated, our children feel it is a burden and parents treat schools like glorified daycare centers to raise their children while they go about their lives as though their children’s issues are someone else’s fault. How about the respect a parent is supposed to show a child? The bulk of this respect is to come during the formative years when respect is taught. Father’s who insist that their son’s open doors for girls, say yes sir and yes ma’am with respect vs. that smart mouth tone and insist that they respect their Mothers. Equally important is the Mother who insists that their children respect their Fathers and each other and follows through on punishments as well as rewards for good behaviors. These things take work, concentration and energy, they don’t happen because of good schools, church and reading books, it take examples, leadership and guidance from people who know the difference and have been taught the difference between fundamental rights and wrongs. I won’t get derailed on a religious tangent, but morality doesn’t come from religions; (read a decent article about that subject here) it comes from evolution, parenting, common sense and logic, along with laws designed by men to protect respectful people from disrespectful ones.

Ultimately this issue has infected every aspect of our lives. Respect for each other, human life and the sanctity of the human experience would practically eliminate the issues of Sudan Darfur, Palestine, Jerusalem, Bangladesh, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Gaza, and Rwanda to name just a few. I could get into my personal take on the effects of religion on these respect issues, but let’s not get sidetracked on that, but rather let’s just say that weather you rub a little fat man’s belly or you pray to an invisible bearded white man who lives in the sky, how about we all just respect each other’s rights to believe whatever the hell we want to, assuming that respect is extended in all direction by all groups to all other elements of life on this small planet? There is so little tolerance by the religions, each of them in their own way is disrespecting the others by the simple fact that they are saying, our way, is the right way, and if you don’t think they way we do, you are wrong. That is starting the conversation with an intolerant tone and very little to talk about in way of options. Where is the respect in this? (Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t get derailed, so I’ll stop)

How do we begin to instill the necessary respect in our children they will need to have to do this correctly, but also to tolerate all the disrespect they are going to encounter during their lifetime? Should we put up our modern day media, politicians, sport figures, musical stars, television actors, or religious figures up to our children as a qualified example of respect? I don’t know anyone who would. How do we begin to instill lessons in our children that can only be learned through struggle, hardship and adversity when our lives have become an endless rendition of supersized meals, movies, air conditioned environments and jobs that pay a student out of high school more money than 25 families combined would make in most underdeveloped countries. With a very select few exceptions of those who volunteered it is likely we will have up to four generations of people (including mine) who have never witnessed war in any other way than through the lens of a FOX or CNN news camera and will never know what it is to work a single day of physical labor during their lives.

It must be our responsibility as a civilized nation and as parents and citizens of this great country to take responsibility and lead our youth. We need to educate our children the truth about evolution, technology, health, and the well being of our planet. They must come to understand that getting a trophy for every place is wrong. Not keeping score at little league games and buying them every luxury they could ever want before they are even old enough to know they want it is not the answer. My own children are so underwhelmed by some of the most expensive gifts we buy them while on the other side when asked what she wanted for her birthday my 8 year old daughter replied simply, “a box of yarn Dad”. This is a great example of how our children want for nothing and yet we try to provide them the world. I believe all they truly want from us is our time. Slow down, read a book, teach them about respect and what it is to truly appreciate some of the more simple things in life like a walk in the woods, the smell of a hay field or lying on your back in the grass and searching the clouds for imaginative shapes. At the same time, we need to be incredibly diligent about teaching our children all the things they won’t learn in school. If you want to teach your children religion, teach them about “all” religions and expose them to immense diversity of religious studies. Explain to them all the differences between the religions of the world and describe all the various rituals, traditions and holidays of each. This, not unlike exposing a child to a variety of different activities during their childhood will better prepare them for a global experience and a healthy future.

Respect is a cornerstone of what will get us to the next horizon. It is what separates us from Darwin’s version of success. (Dan Dennett’s talk on Darwin “funny and educational”) Respect each other, respect those around you and respect what you leave behind when you are no longer here. But, that’s just what I think, I could be wrong.